Dear Fat People....

From:

BEAUTY FLAT#101

FatIsFine Street

Curvy Girls Roundabout

FSIB 143, UK.

February 20, 2017

To:

Body Shaming Institute of Useless Media And Tech.

Opposite “The Body Shop”, FSIB 101

UK.

SUBJECT: Resp. “DEAR FAT PEOPLE…”

Dear Mr. /Ms,

You dear society will tell me that if I’m fat, I’m worthless and lazy, that I do not deserve to live a life just like any other. That I won't get a man who is wayyyy out of my league, because they are reserved for.....beautiful?... yes, beautiful people. You know; the ones who are tall and skinny, ones who have their collar bones sticking out from their chest ,slim waists and a perfect thigh gap. Generation to generation we are conditioned to think that those are the only things that make a person pretty and worthy of being seen on television, social media and fashion magazines. You say fat people do not belong in that world. I have been told  "wear big shirts and baggy jeans, don't show your waist or back" . The type of clothes that cover every inch of my body, it seems that I’m not cut out for designer crop tops and short sleeves. It’s become clear that clothing stores do not cater to physiques such as mine. Just the word “FAT” sounds so negative and mean. It’s as if the media refuses to accept that people like me are also part of society. I mean its one thing to say that we do not fit into the model industry but to ignore us completely; it’s obscene. Why is this so dangerous you ask??  It is because of the impact it has on people mentally. It creates insecurity and destroys one’s self esteem. The world focuses so much on body size, I started looking at myself differently. I felt more conscious...filled with guilt I started watching what I eat,  dark thoughts keeping me up in my sleep. I could no longer think clearly. It’s everywhere I’d go, in the shops, at college, or the library. People shame so much and I blame myself for the hate that they speak. But I heard it so often that I started to believe. That I deserved all this hate. Thinking to myself that, “Maybe...maybe?..just , maybe the problem is me…”

People around me has made me feel like a prisoner in my own body. From a young age girls and boys grow up hating the body that they are in, and if they don't they still feel guilty when they binge like they have committed a sin. They think how if just for one day they could understand how it felt to be thin. Believing that that would take all their problems away when in reality it just does not work that way.  It would be just another cycle where you’d go over and over; one time loop of endless misery. I know we are obsessed with body size; there are countless videos online on how to lose weight quickly. That is so unhealthy.  It seems we are led to believe that if we are skinny, our lives would magically fall into place. But that's enough! What defines me is my character you know?...my thoughts and opinions, they way I look at life. And NOT my weight. 

We have become merely a generation where we starve ourselves thin, so consumed by expectations, external validation and self-hate. Society makes you feel like you are not good enough, just because you don’t look a certain way. All these fashion/runway models look so perfect on the outside, but inside, they are empty. This is all a game society has made. If I want to lose weight; I’ll do it the healthy way by following a balanced diet and excercising to help my body naturally progress. Please don't get me wrong I’m not encouraging excessive eating but I don’t see how fat shaming people is helping either ways. It's time you realize that spreading “BODY POSITIVITY” is not encouraging “OBESITY”. Allow people, once in their life to feel proud and love their own bodies without feeling ashamed or guilty. Don't we all deserve to be happy?

Sincerely yours,

A Fat Person.

Dear Diary,

I’m not okay.

For as long as I can remember I have always had this void in my life. This empty feeling deep, deep inside me, that you can’t quite shake. No matter how hard you try. It just sorts of stays and consumes the life within you. You seem to have great happy moments. And just when you think everything is getting better. Surprise…the feeling always comes back. It’s just a matter of time. There is this constant frustration to fill this void. Wish to find something that could ease the pain. What’s the cause? Nobody knows. Yet you feel exactly the same emptiness every single day. It leaves you feeling so empty and down like you are missing something somehow. Something that’s a part of me, and once I have it I’ll be happy. I just need that one thing, that special key. Answer to all this mixed nothingness. And once I get my hands on it, I’ll be complete; because I tried everything…friends, education, material stuff. And no matter how hard I try it never seems to be enough. I know how people tell me that I need to think more positively or the solution to all my problems is self love. It’s not as simple as that, especially when you’ve got to the point where you feel numb. I so badly want to fill my house with so much happiness that it just takes all my sadness away. My childhood was so dark and angry that I always thought that in my adult life…things would change. Somehow I wouldn’t feel that same; and I don’t. Things aren’t that intense anymore but there is no denying that the feeling is always there, and it’s something I can’t explain. I just wish it would go away…

I always thought that when I grow up, things would be different. I just thought………things would be different?!. You look at other people and they always seem so happy. And I know looks can be misleading. But when you are so empty, you can’t help but look and think…why can’t that be me? Why can’t that be me? Just cause I want that. You so desperately want that. And you feel like you will get that sooner or later because you seem to be doing all the right things. You go out, hanging around with friends, talking and laughing, dancing to silly music. And in that moment everything seems great. You. Are. Happy. But sooner or later that feeling goes away…and the emptiness kicks in. I tend to feel it a lot at night. That’s when I write. Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed with emotion that all I do is cry. And I don’t know why…makes me feel like something is wrong with me. And it’s hard to admit but easier to pretend. So that’s what I say; I’m fine. The feeling of losing control just hits you out of nowhere. It just gets so messed up in my head sometimes. It’s not like you can escape it, not when it’s happening in your mind. So you beat yourself up and you beat…yourself up. Till you feel so…small. Sometimes you can be in a room full of people, and still feel so alone. I can put up an act and pretend to be tough, but deep down I’m not brave enough.

You can feel so small in this big, big world that all I have are my words to keep my sense of control. These writings are my therapy you know?... A way of pouring my soul out, in hopes that will make me feel better. And somehow fill this empty hole. There is no cure. No quick way to fix it. It’s just something I’ve learnt to live with. But it’ll get easier and of that I’m sure. 

 Tc xo

What's Wrong With The Media?

Have you ever wondered who controls the mainstream media? We like to think we have got a good media because it is free. Freedom is a wonderful privilege but on its own its nothing. Today’s generation find it difficult to differentiate between reel life and real life. What is wrong with the media? Let’s take a moment to remind ourselves some of the things that might be slightly or even very wrong with mainstream media.

Look around us, kids are constantly engaged with their phones, laptops etc, they are no longer active for introspection or self reflection and reflecting others people; in turn not allowing empathy to emerge. Statistics show that empathy emerges when the body and mind are no longer engaged, in other terms when people daydream. No daydreaming means no empathy. Why do you think the social media took off so well? This is because our brain is social, and people really want to connect with others, but lately the social media has been rewiring our brains. 

We look at the media to tell us what matters but it cares predominantly about what will excite us! Sometimes the two categories coincide. But that’s a rare phenomenon. The media lacks the skill to make boring things exciting. We are built to have an almost irresistible attraction to certain stories involving “Power, Fame, Disaster and Sex”. And yet we are tempted to yawn about “Schools, Developing World Problems and the Money Supply”. We are not doing it on purpose; it’s just the equivalent of our fatal weakness for processed sugars, fats and salts. And the media does everything it can to exploit it. 

In theory the media has a deeply important function to play in a democracy; to direct a mass audience to engage with the greatest problems in society, so as to push politicians to do the necessary changes. But as it is the media is obsessed with scandals, it focuses relentlessly on the rather thrilling misdemeanors of a few people rather than the large systematic failings of the government that are harder to see and far less sexy to describe. Basically the media has become this modeling clay in the hands of the rich and powerful. Companies know how to control the media and exploit those who follow it.

The reason why celebrities have become a dirty word is because we have the wrong celebs in front of us. We need the media to anoint people with the fame, but for doing noble and good things that really help a nation. 

Instead of them ^.

Have them ^.

Essena O’Neils (original video) speaks about how social media didn’t bring her happiness but rather made her even more miserable. She felt she let herself be defined by the value of numbers. Even being at the pinnacle of success, having everything and being surrounded by all wealth, power and "fame”, she wasn’t happy. 

We deal in illusions! None of it is true! (From the 1976 motions picture , Network).

We do not need to get rid of celebrities we just need better varieties. 

The media ensures that nothing remains a priority for long. Today’s headlines become tomorrow’s history pages in some social textbooks. The media also makes us anxious and scared rather than effectively sane. One seems to always make more money by getting someone scared about bugs, viruses and explosions; rather than getting them into a sane and correct assessment of the dangers facing them and a melancholy acceptance of death and compromising in general. It reports in passive terms about adultery in Hollywood marriages or the bad behavior of a model. It pretends to care about transgressions while not admitting at the same time titillating the audience; most of whom deep in their subconscious would love to have a chance to do what’s being chastised on the surface.

The media being sanctimonious and prurient, hypocritically satisfies both our fantasies and our need to think of ourselves as normal and respectable; whilst in reality its quite the opposite. 

When it comes to influencing the people, nobody has more power than the big media companies do.

And until we can break this sick addiction to the mainstream media and get people to start thinking for themselves, we will never see extensive changes in our society. As long as people are being “programmed” by the mainstream media, they will continue to express the opinions, attitudes and beliefs that have been downloaded into their minds. And as it was in the times of Plato; let justice, truth and wisdom take the over our minds.

Education Or School : Which Do You Truly Prefer?

We want to do well at school for an obvious reason, because we are often told that it’s the primary rule for doing well at life. Few of us are in love with the A+’s we get at school; we want them because understandably it helps us get the things we so require in the future. Success in career, a pleasant house and respect from people around us. 

So you want to get a degree? Why? Let me tell you what society will tell you. It increases your chances of getting a job, provides you with an opportunity to be successful, your life will be a lot less stressful, EDUCATION IS THE KEY. Now some of you will protest saying you know money is only the medium by which one measures worldly success. And some of you even have the nerve to say “I don’t do it for the money”. Then what are you studying for? But sometimes what seems pretty reassuring turns out to be more of a disappointment. 

More often we come across people who triumphed at school but flunked at life. The former stars who once knew how to satisfy their teachers might now be flat lining in some cubicle office or relocating to a provisional town in hope of something better. Steve jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckenberg, Henry Ford, Steven Spielberg…all these people didn’t graduate from a higher learning institution. All I’m trying to say if there was a family tree, hard work and education would be related but school would be some distant cousin. If Education is the key, School is the lock. So as long as you follow the rules and pass the exams you’re cool. Proverbs 17:16 – “It does a fool no good to spend money on an education.”

Education is about inspiring one’s mind not just filling their heads. The path that seemed guaranteed to lead to success and gone straight into the sand. We shouldn’t be actually surprised. School curricula weren’t designed such that everyone would ultimately earn success in life. No, school curricula were intellectually influenced by some slightly random forces over hundreds of years of evolution. Shaped by among many things like medieval monastery, the ideas of some 19th century German lists, and the concerns of aristocratic courts. Sometimes there are many bad habits that school inculcates like suggesting that the most important things are already known or what is, is all that could be or how they would like to warn us about the dangers of originality. Nobody quite knows what’s going on. They seem to teach us everything but the two most important things needed for quality adult life. Knowing how to choose the right job for us and how to form satisfactory relationships. Instead they instruct us in Latin and how to measure the circumference of a circle long before they teach us these two things. 

Work and Love. Now I’m not saying school is evil and there is nothing to gain. All I’m saying is understand your motives and reassess your aims, because if you want to have a job working under someone else, then help yourself. But then that would be a contradiction because you are not helping yourself, you are helping somebody else. There is a saying which says “ If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs”. 

We need to have open minds and not blindly believe everything we are taught in school. Rather explore and get to know the mysteries beyond these textbooks. We need to be outwardly, entirely obedient and inwardly, intelligently and unashamedly rebellious.

School is good but education is greater. Redefine what education means to you and let that lead you to success.

End Of Fairy Tale Endings.

“Once upon a time…”

No. Stop. Screw this starting. This shouldn’t start as a fairy tale. There are no fairy tale endings. There is no happily after. People say life is this or life is that. Ignore the usual copy written quotes that’s becoming more and more of a dialogue shot at a film scene. It makes no sense anymore; neither does it have the meaning that it used to have before. Very little is needed to make your life happy; it’s all within you and your way of thinking. Life has become a complicated ball of mess and games. No one can tell what will happen in the end, we can only guess. They say one day everything will make perfect sense; so for now, laugh at the confusion, smile at the tears spent, and remind yourself everything happens for a reason. Even God’s judgment is easier to deal with than societies. The combat between making an impression on the society and not trying is constant struggle that leaves the badlands of my mind further torn and dry like a post-war view. Develop a strong opinion about yourself so that you don’t accidentally start believing what others say about you. The lifeless remains of ideals, strewn across the battleground that is the plan I had for us. Sometimes you’re always haunted by the idea you’re wasting your life. Now I only see confusion and worry that the damage that lay waste to us, is far beyond redemption. Sidney Sheldon wrote a book “Nothing lasts forever”, and that title revoked so many thoughts in me. True, nothing lasts forever. Forever is a lie. On this earth anyways. All we have is what’s in between hello and goodbye. The tower of trust we once worked so hard towards, now torn, crumbling, a derelict, wobbly structure. The feelings are the last to fade, somehow surviving until the bitter end. Shell-shocked bits and pieces of love and consideration stagger through the dusty, barren space, searching for one last chance, one last hope. But there is beauty, unending, indescribable beauty in the silence that confounds one’s heart and beneath the entire tough exterior we try putting up someone will come up one day and make a crack on the castle of glass you built around yourself. This is life, a life filled with endless false hopes, equally matching heart aches and broken promises. Where all one can ever do is wait for the end days hoping with new found confidence and faith that maybe there is a paradise somewhere out there where fairy tale endings are true and magical in all reality? Till then I’m just a lone wanderer trying to find a place in this world just as a temp, paving my path to an undiscovered future filled with only God knows what. Don’t let anyone tell you life is a bed of roses, because it isn’t. Life is a trial round before the actual showdown. You are here to learn, gather an experience of a lifetime and if Disney taught me anything then that would be to wait and watch as the true curtains unveil. We aren’t responsible for how people choose to interpret things in life, but we are perhaps responsible for our intentions. If they’re good, then what’s it matter what others dwell on?. And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

Beauty In Melancholy

We all assume that the pain of love is a melancholy we are born to deal with. Sometimes the people we meet are meant for a moment and not for a lifetime. Some people bring out the worst in us, others bring out the best, and there are the remarkable rare ones who just bring out the most. Everyone has that one friend, they'd choose over anyone. To talk to, to hang out with. It doesn't really matter. They always are your first choice. I had the blessing of being a social butterfly, looking back it feels like i have friends all over the globe; but actually there are 3 or 4 I can really count on being there for me.

What is a friend? We all have our own definitions I guess.

When you meet people and you get to know them its nice, a good feeling, something new right?

You start looking in; the outside reality loses meaning. The social reality is fiction, a beautiful drama; you can participate in it, but you don't take it seriously. Maybe if certain things were left unsaid or certain people were more careful with my heart, then maybe I wouldn’t be so fragile. In saying this I am grateful because this has taught me how important it is to be kind. Once my life used to consist of toxic friends and broken promises, thankfully I overcame that and now I have lifelong friends and a broken heart. Little changes huh?

Human beings in the final analysis, have to survive on their own. Doesn't make them lonely. No. Makes them more decisive. But sometimes we try too hard. We try outdoing others by accepting more and more pain. Its ironic of people thinking that sadness is romantic. Its not. Seriously its not. And pain is not something to strive for. Don't be stupid. Even if you do accept pain for a while and your suffering, have a ray of hope...Wear sunshine in your eyes and kindness in your heart.

xo

Shey